Voting

My kids are about to take part in the school and village version of 'Britain's Got Talent' and number one son has decided to perform a piece which he is learning at his Street Dance class. Of course it would be too simple if this were to just one song. Instead it involves three separate sections from three different songs. So, turning my baseball cap around and grabbing all manor of gadgets, I attempted to follow in the footsteps of of top DJ's like Fat Boy Slim, Mark Ronson and Gloria Hunniford!

To make the magic work required a laptop, my phone, a host of cables, a visit to iTunes and a sound effects CD. And after an evenings toil MC Wordy-Wordsworth completed the track. So pleased was I with the result that I even contemplated joining the talent show with my new mega-mix skills! But I wouldn't want to out-shine my son. It did, however, get me wondering if any of the others talents I've developed as a father could be used to secure my place at the Royal Variety Performance. Possible turns include -

The Stupendous Stinko - The master of illusion who can make any amount of pet poop disappear with only a shovel, some rubber gloves and a common-or-garden toilet!

Make-and-mender - No accident a disaster, no broken toy too small, no snapped piece of plastic too insignificant that this one man solvent-solution-surgeon can't fix it!

Zippo the Speed-reader - Be astounded at how fast a human being is able to read and digest the instructions for any toy in the same amount of time it takes a child to extract the article in question from its box, stare at it and ask "how does it work?"

Batteries Are Included - Will make any amount of power cells (of any size, shape or denomination) appear from thin air before you can say the words "I think its broken!"

The Man of a Thousand Voices (But None of Them Famous) - Can read a bedtime story with up to twenty characters all with an individual vocal pitch, regional accent and personal back-story!

So who would win? I'll let the judges decide...

-X-X-X-