Well, basically Socrates put forward an idea that if a group of prisoners spent their whole lives chained in a cave and only looking at one wall, onto which shadows are cast from other people wearing odd shaped hats, then eventually the prisoners would believe that this is the real world (or a Lady Gaga video). So convinced would they be of this false reality that they'd be unable to recognise the real thing if they saw it. And finally, if the prisoners were given the option to return to the cave would they choose reality or the shadows (remind anyone of the 'The Matrix'?). Today this can be seen as a premonition and allegory for our immersion into TV, which raises an additional question - what if the prisoners had TiVo?
Now, I'm not an impatient person but the one thing that does push my viewing buttons is a cliffhanger. Having to wait until 'Next Time' to find out what happens. It never used to be a problem. I used to love those those cinema serials they showed on TV back in the eighties - 'Flash Gordon', 'Zorro' and 'King of the Rocketmen'. At the end of every episode you'd have to wait a week to see if they really did die in the explosion or fall into the volcano. Of course they never did because the start of the next episode was always completely different from the end of the previous one - they were well clear of the blast or the volcano was really full of chocolate pudding. Actually that last one might be just one of my personal fantasies. Hold on... Where was I? Oh yes...
But the digital, downloadable, box-set-able age has completely destroyed that part of me that was happy to wait. If you're like me then a box-set is just an open invitation to watch episodes back to back, so destroying the cliffhanger element. I will often willing loose sleep to find out just how Jack Bauer moved the clock on anther hour. And now On-Demand TV, iPlayers and hard drives mean that you can 'box-set' current programmes while they're still showing. A good example is a TV series written by an old friend of mine. Every week people are watching and reporting on how good it is but I can't. I have to hoard and wait until the series has finished and only then gorge myself in a gluttonous, eight hour ecstasy of horror and humour (and giving me something to do while I eat that volcano full of chocolate). Of course you still have to contend with the end of series cliffhanger, but I can handle it (just).
What I really can't stand is when you're denied closure from a show, where a series ends never to return. Examples of programmes which ran there course with a satisfactory ending include 'The Prisoner', 'Blake's Seven', 'MASH', 'Six Feet Under', 'West Wing' and even 'The Good Life'. But so many time I've been left permanently suspended not knowing what became of my heroes. What happened to 'The Man from Atlantis', 'Manimal' or 'Automan'? And worst still is when they drop something halfway through a series because of low rating even if there are more episodes yet to be aired. TV companies are playing with our lives by unthinkingly not recommissioning a programme without rounding out an ending first. Such practices lead to Fan Fiction - and we all know how dangerous that can be - ("Why Scully, just what do you intend to do with that alien probe?").
But always remember Socrates. It doesn't have to be this way. We can leave the cave! We can free our minds! We can take the red pill! We can turn our backs on this make-believe, face the light and lead a true life!
(Now, if you'll excuse me Lumpy-shadow just pulled a gun on Twisty-shadow and said he's his father, but I don't believe him...)
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